Jane’s POV
The first day of the holiday felt amazing, I could sleep till late and had nothing planned.
I was currently enjoying my shower, thinking about what Jaden said yesterday.
‘Finding someone who’ll love me? ‘
I wish I had as much confidence and courage as him. I’ve zero experience with fellas, the only guys I socialize with were my brother and Luke. Practically speaking they didn’t count.
‘Maybe college will be a new experience ‘
I decided to go with a brown crop top and black Jeans. I dried my hair and decide to leave it tumbling just like that. ‘No ponytail or messy bun today,’
I switched the speaker on and chose Bruno Mars – lazy songs and I swung my hips to the beat while singing along.
Jaden walked past me and jumped straight onto my bed.” Somebody is happy today”
“Someone still doesn’t know how to knock ” I fired back.
“What do you have scheduled?” He asked dismissing my comment.
“Nothing in particular ” Then I recalled ” You still have the car keys right? ”
He wiggled his brows ” Do I? ”
“Mom left a gift for granny and I need to go fetch some stuff at the mall ”
As soon as we arrived, I gave the blood pressure monitor to granny and explained how to obtain readings. We left as soon as she managed the monitor on her own.
The rest of the day was all about me in the living room watching series and Jaden startling me every now and then.
I was bored to the point where I begged Jaden to let me clean his room. Obviously, while I cleaned he was resting on his bed talking to Mia on the phone.
Without realizing the moon was resting in the fronds over our heads.
—-
4th of December, three days before our birthday. I woke up around 6 am and was petrified by the notification I found on my phone.
Usually, this was the time where I started panicking, the time for early pre-concert nerves. I ran to Jaden’s room finding him sleeping peacefully.
‘Great’ I smirked and jumped on top of the bed.
“Wake up, wake up J!!” I shouted while looking around for his cellphone.
“What now? Keep it down, would you?” His eyes fluttered and his body stirred.
“Check your email now” I screamed excitedly.
He pulled his phone, searched for a while then turned to me
” NUST!?” He said standing up. ” I’m in ”
“Same here ”
He picked me up and spun us around.
We stormed downstairs, Jaden burst out informing to mom and dad, didn’t even give me a chance to say a word.
“Congratulation my babies, come here,” Mom said opening her arms.” I’m so proud of you two”
Dad joined giving us a bear hug and kissing us both on the head. ” It calls for a celebration,” He said. ” What if, your mother and I come home early and we go out for dinner?”
“Sounds good to me” I replied when we finally let go of each other.
When it comes to my family, these were the moments I cherished the most. We might not spend a lot of time together, although I wished we could, but when we did, it served as reassurance that we loved each other, unconditionally.
We had dinner in a very charming and cozy restaurant, it was fun I enjoyed being with my family like that because we don’t do it often.
When we got home, I went straight to my room and Jaden to his. I quickly showered put on my PJs and went to sit on the window seat listening to music. Jaden came and we sat back to back.
“What is going on in this little head of yours?” Jaden whispered.
“Just thankful we’ve each other,” I said absently as I washed the half-moon.” I think the time to be a big girl is here. I always relied on everyone in this family and I’m scared I might make wrong decisions ”
“Who said that you’re not allowed to make mistakes?” Jaden asked,” obstacles are an essential part of life even though it sucks, we can always learn from our mistakes right?”
I brought my knees close to my chest, my voice started shaking tears urging me to fall.
“I don’t want to be a disappointment ”
“The same hammer that shatters glass forges steel” He quoted.” Whatever problem you encounter, can be used to make you stronger”
He stood up and came to face me. ” Conquer all these fears and take advantage of it ”
“Plus we are together in this, whatever problem you face, we will crush it together twin ”
“Love you, Big guy ”
He embraced me, giving me the familiar feeling. No one could make me feel safe like my twin.
“Now, let us talk about boys ” I giggled when he finished his statement.
“You won’t have to worry, no one will wanna date me, I’m nobody’s type ”
“Didn’t you clean your mirror this week? ” He said pointing at the mirror. ” You are gorgeous, you just need to see yourself the way I see you”
“If you give it a chance and a little bit of confidence, I’ll have to fight the boys to stay away from you”
“You are my brother, whatever you say doesn’t count ”
“I’m also a man so I know what I’m talking about ”
He stood up, went back to his seat and we were back to our signature position.
“I’m glad you are my brother ”
“Me too twin ” Jaden giggled.” Our math is simple 0.5 plus 0.5, we are two in one if you know what I mean ”
“Nerd much” I scoffed.
I was so glad my twin understood and supported me the way he did. He always made me feel safe, I couldn’t even begin to imagine my life without him. So happy that our plans were finally coming to be, that was what they meant by living the dream right?
Around 3 am I finally reached my limit, I crawled my way to bed, Jaden jumped next to me.
“Don’t you have a bed to sleep on? ” I asked somnolently.
“I do” He mumbled and I sensed I but coming.” But, I don’t want to go there.”
“Suit yourself,” I said half asleep.
“I’m a constant in your life, there is no way to separate me from you twin” Those were the last words I heard him murmur after he snatched my arm and embraced me in a very warm brotherly hug and I peacefully fell asleep.
—-
The next morning, I opened my eyes and the warm golden rays of the sun peeking through the window welcomed the new day. I couldn’t help but smile. It’s said that the most beautiful morning is when we were excited about what we have planned for the day and strangely I had nothing planned.
I turned around and saw Jaden sleeping soundly with his back facing me.
I found myself in front of the mirror after cleaning up. I was wearing black ripped denim overalls with a white oversized t-shirt, paired with a smile. It matched my mood.
‘I liked what I see’
I went downstairs, prepared breakfast, and went back up to my room.
“Wakey, wakey eggs, and bakey!” I whispered
Jaden turned around, and looked up confused. “Why are you in such a good mood? ” He raised the question with a cracked and raw voice.
“Nothing special ” I announced walking towards the table to take my cellphone.”I made breakfast ”
He eyed me as if trying to decipher a puzzle. “What is up with all these charitable actions early in the morning?”
“I’ll meet you downstairs, I need to bathe before I discover what evil plan is on your agenda” He stood up with a large grin splitting across his face.
I rolled my eyes.’ So dramatic ‘
” Going out for a while” He informed me a few hours later.
“Where to? ” I questioned him without looking in his direction.
“Nate needs a ride to the airport and I also need to get a new charger for my laptop ”
“Okay ”
“I won’t take long” He murmured kissing the top of my head.
“GPS on J ” I screamed when he opened the door to exit the house.
“Okay, you too, Love you, sis,” He said standing there, waiting for an answer.
“Love you more ”
Growing up, mom always told us to never forget to say how much we loved the people we cared about, so they will always come back to us. So, Jaden decided that we should always say I love you when one of us is going out, so we could come back to each other.
In the beginning, I never replied, he would glare at me until I was annoyed enough and say it just to get rid of him.
Left alone, I started preparing the stage.
‘Cozy blankets, checked ‘
‘ Pillow, checked ‘
‘ Korean drama playlist, checked ‘
I snuggled into the blanket, and that little sparkle of joy before falling asleep on the sofa was radiating off my body.
“Let the dreams begin” I slowly fell asleep, all the way praying that mom wouldn’t find me sleeping on her sofa, again.
Woke up to the buzzing sound of my phone ringing. Without opening my eyes I reach for the cellphone.
“Hello!? ” No response.
I softly rubbed my eyes to identify the caller ID.
“Jaden!? ” I stated more like a question.
I swallowed my annoyance. ” Jaden, you called, so say something”
“Are you trying to irrit_ ” I stopped when I heard someone breathing heavily as if struggling to breathe.
“J are you okay? What is happening? Where are you?” I panicked.
” JADEN????”
Anarchism and Other Essays