In modern-day Germany, there was a man who had always loved programming ever since he had come across its term when he was 5 years old. When he went to school a year after, he was regarded as an outcast because of his unique hobby. No one dared get close to him except for someone named Ansgar Wegener, someone who had always loved games. They both had each other to rely on because they had no other friends as well as having unsupportive parents. Fifteen years prior, there was a man walking the crowded snowy streets of Germany, everyone was wearing mittens, scarfs, and jackets, including him too. In contrast to how much he was under wraps, he shivers and mutters for it being so cold out in the open while glancing at the buildings as he passes by.
The man is carrying bottles of wine and other alcoholic beverages in which his parents would get drowned over. With him, as an addition, bags of potato chips that are all neatly wrapped.
What kind of life am I living? Why didn’t I get a job?
He staggers a little bit out of frustration and then proceeds to rant to himself more, “Those companies, none of them would accept me, just because I didn’t finish college.”
“Even though I’m well-versed in HTML, CSS, Python, JavaScript, PHP, and..”. On the top of his head there was much more to spit out but chose not to recite it all anymore.,” dammit all.”
He finally arrives at the house where his parents live.
“I’m back…”He reluctantly says.
His father and mother are on the couch with little to no clothes. His father doesn’t bat an eye on his son. “Where the hell have you been?”
“To the store,” He replies.”, where else?”
“DON’T TALK TO US WITH THAT TONE!” His mother butts in and yells.
He decides to go upstairs.
He can feel the daggers from his parents even as he retreats upstairs. The voices of his parents ringing in his ears:
If only you’d gotten yourself a job already, sheesh.
I told you, honey. He just wouldn’t listen. He insisted on pursuing his dreams and look where he is now.
He stops midway from going up the stairs and then rushes down and heads for the door.
“HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!” one of his parents shouts from behind, probably his father who is quick in reacting to situations.
IT’S THEM!
BECAUSE OF THEM!
THEY TOLD ME TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T AFFORD MY TUITION.
BUT THEY JUST WANTED TO GET MORE MONEY FOR FOOD!
…
..
.
“As usual, here I am again.” He stands in front of a house, looking so monochrome and dead and lifeless. He invites himself in and goes inside the house.
“Hello?”
The house is very dark and he can hear gaming noises from upstairs. He approaches the door and opens it as soon as he’s in front of the doorknob.
Someone whose back is faced in front of him is playing video games with a messy room surrounding him. “Ansgar? Hello?” He asks from the darkness.
“Oh,” Ansgar easily replies.”, hello.”
“Where are your parents?”
“They’re outside…”
“Hey, you’ve been gaining weight.” He takes a quick scan of Ansgar that is indeed gaining weight. “When was the last time you went outside?”
“Probably 3 days ago,” Ansgar says robotically and by his reaction, wouldn’t care.
Life hasn’t been nice to both me and Ansgar. As I’ve become a jobless man, he became a shut-in. He was not particularly good at anything so he dropped school a few years before me.
“You should go and jog,” I say like a parent who is responsible for him.
Ansgar doesn’t reply this time and remains quiet. He continues playing his video game. See ya around, I guess. He didn’t bother saying this anymore.
He retreats and closes the door behind him.
His parents have already given up on him, and I’m starting to feel hopeless for him too. But I can’t just leave him… those eyes… I’ve never seen anything so hopeless and devoid of life. I feel like if I leave him now, there would be no hope for him.
“I have to at least come to his house every day. ” He says to himself. “I should at least do that because he was once my friend.” He takes a step out of the house.
I… don’t know what to do anymore…
“I’m just gonna go to eat at a restaurant and stay until nighttime.” He decides on his next destination.
He arrives in a restaurant and sits at a table, he checks his money and sees he’s almost out of cash.
Dang it…
–Mmm might as well treat myself once in a while.
He uses every last cent in his wallet.
A few minutes later, he receives his food which is Family-style beef Stroganoff. He takes one look at it and says in a sing-song manner, “Might as well eat.”
While eating, he watches the people walking.
What am I supposed to do now? He thinks as he finally finishes his plate. Done already? Maybe I should just keep ordering water.
8:00 P.M.
He goes out of the restaurant and then proceeds to walk back home.
Better head back home. But I really don’t feel like going home. He sighs to himself.
While walking on the road, a car driving with headlights on drives recklessly. The people in the surroundings shout.
“LOOK OUT!”
“Huh?”
The car gets closer and closer to him as if they were star-crossed lovers about to meet for the first time.
He stares at the car approaching him. Thud.
“AGH!”
His body bounces meters away from the car.
He starts bleeding so heavily. Everything feels so painful. What… just… happened? His vision becomes blurry and his consciousness suddenly fades away.
“OH NO! WHAT DID I JUST DO? I’M A CRIMINAL! NO NO NO! THIS ISN’T MY FAULT. I’M NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS.”
The driver of the car goes back inside and drives away for temporary escape from what he’s done.
The man whose body lays on the road lets out a tear. His tears start coming out like falls. Why… Where did it all go wrong? I did my best. I got my dreams. I have the knowledge. More tears come out as if his eyes could create streams. Why…
I thought… I was planning to leave… to be free…
No… I won’t die… I won’t die…
I won’t die…
His voice gets weaker and weaker until he finally goes silent.
His vision turns black.
“WAAHHHHHH! WAAAAAAAAH!” A baby’s whining is heard in the distance.
A vision of a mother looking down on him, “Aw… What a cute little baby.” she coos.
“He’s got my face.” A man steps in from his peripheral vision.
“No, he didn’t, he only got your irises.” The mom says defensively.
The father laughs, “How did you know when his eyes haven’t even opened yet?”
The mom smiles slyly and whispers secretly to her husband, “I took a peek hehe~❤️.”
“Lexia!” The father says in a gobsmacked manner. “You shouldn’t do that!”
“WAAAAAHHHHHHH!”
A baby has been born.
END OF EPISODE 1, Start of Arc 1, Encounters Arc.
Anarchism and Other Essays